D.C. Code § 50-319

In the "Department of Redundancy Department," we have this law regarding taxicab licensing:

(b) ...The minimum license fee imposed by the Commission pursuant to this subchapter on taxicab companies, associations, or fleets for operating authority shall be not less than $100 per year. [Emphasis mine.]

DC Mun Regs tit 5 s 2405.5(b)

Okay, so sometimes I'm just snarky here, and sometimes I make good points. I try not to be too terribly harsh. But right now I'm going to be, and I think that it is fair, because AT THIS MOMENT I have open on my computer the revision to this section that I am writing.

Disclaimer over.

"Hi, I'm 6 years old and a kid in my class is bullying me. My teacher hasn't stopped it. So I want to complain. But how am I supposed to understand this?"

In order to initiate this procedure, the complaint should contain the following information, to the extent known by the complainant; provided, that the procedure shall be deemed initiated despite the omission of any item or items of information...

D.C Code § 10-137

Hello circularity...


The Director of the National Park Service and the said Mayor of the District of Columbia are authorized to make all needful rules and regulations for the government and proper care of all the public grounds placed by §§ 6-404, 10-104, 10-106, 10-123, 10-129 and 10-137, under their respective charge and control; and to annex to such rules and regulations such reasonable penalties as will secure their enforcement.

DCMR tit. 17 s 207.2

I wonder how old this is. A fee of one dollar hardly seems worth the trouble...

A temporary permit shall be issued to an applicant who presents evidence of his or her qualifications to work as an electrician, and upon payment of a fee of one dollar ($ 1).

DCMR tit. 7 s 799.1

Hooray for typos! This one has been around since 1980:

Economically disadvantaged- ... (d) A person whose status presents significant barriers to employment such as the following:

(1) A client of a sheltered workship;...

D.C. Mun. Regs. tit. 3 s 1610.2

Am I just being picky? Or does "Union" need to be capitalized in order to refer to the US? I read this as if the proposed state joins the AFL-CIO.

The contests for the office of U.S. Senator and U.S. Representative may appear, in that order, on a ballot card separate from all other offices, until such time as the proposed state of New Columbia is admitted to the union.

D.C. Code § 38-1905

Yeah, I'd like to see someone try to claim that there are elementary school students who are So Unprepared that they won't even be able to go to trade school. Something tells me that No Child Left Behind would have something to say about this. No worries, it was passed by Congress in 1936 and is on my "PLEASE repeal" list. Along with the law from 1943 about Americanization schools. Really.



The Board of Education is authorized and empowered to establish occupational schools on the elementary school level for pupils not prepared to pursue vocational courses in the trade or vocational schools and also to carry on trade or vocational courses on the senior high school level or in senior high schools.

D.C. Code § 38-1902

I'm recommending that this be repealed, so I'm immortalizing it here. I'm particularly a fan of the idea of being a teacher assigned to instruction in school gardening.

On and after July 1, 1943, the Board of Education is authorized to designate the months in which the 10 salary payments shall be made to teachers assigned to instruction in elementary science and school gardening, and in health, physical education, and playground activities.

D.C. Code § 1-612.07

Okay, this is just poor drafting:

... (3) The application shall be notarized by the affected employee or the employee acting on the affected employee's behalf.

To clarify: the employee must be a notary?

D.C. Code §§ 38-191, 38-1208.02, and 38-2608

No, workforce preparation and adult literacy are not the same thing. But maybe we can try for a little bit of consistency?

§ 38-191. Department of Education; establishment; authority

(b) The Department of Education shall:
...
(5) Promote, coordinate, and oversee the enhancement and quality of workforce preparation programs within the State Superintendent of Education Office;

(6) Promote, coordinate, and oversee the enhancement and quality of adult literacy and adult education programs within the State Superintendent of Education Office;

38-1208.02. Establishment of the Office of Vocational Education and Skills Training at the University of the District of Columbia

(b) VEST shall be responsible for the oversight and coordination of all government-sponsored vocational education, adult apprenticeship, and workforce skills training performed by UDC and DCPS.

38-2608. Supervision of adult education program

(a) The OSSE shall be the state agency responsible for supervision of adult education and adult literacy.

D.C. Mun. Regs. tit. 20 s 2108

Because I'm a total researcher (see the bottom of the second paragraph), I have this vision of going through the D.C. Code to look at all of the fines, and then make recommendations of how to make them consistent with each other. When I came across this section of D.C. Municipal Regulations while doing actually-work-related research, I copied it for that purpose. But then I noticed some fun didn't-have-an-eagle-eyed-copy-editor text, and felt I needed to share it.

2108.1 Any person who fails to comply with any of the applicable provisions of this chapter shall, upon conviction, be punished as follows:

(a) Any person smoking ... shall, upon conviction, be punishable by a fine of not less than one hundred dollars ($ 100) nor more than one thousand ($ 1,000) for a first offense; and not less than two hundred dollars ($ 200) nor a* more than one thousand dollars ($ 1,000) for each subsequent offense;
...

2108.3 Pursuant to D.C. Official Code § 22-1320(c), any person ... shall be fined not more than five hundred dollars ($ 500) or less than one hundred dollars ($ 100), or imprisoned not more than thirty (30) days, or both, for the first offense.

...

*I'm going to be nice and assume this was just a typo, maybe even by the fine folks at Lexis, from where I copied this text.

D.C. Code § 38-2931

Military funding?

The District of Columbia Public Schools ("DCPS") shall distribute any TANF or Health and Human Services funds that it receives that are designated for after-school programs, on an equitable basis, to DCPS and Public Charter Schools serving students with after-school programs, that receive funding based on the Uniformed Per Pupil Funding Formula.

D.C. Code § 38-407

I love the sections of the DC Code that talk about property. They are so... clear.


That parcel of land marked and designated upon the map of the City of Washington as part of lot No. 11, in square No. 141, beginning at the northwest corner of said lot, and running thence due south on the west line of said square, 50 feet; thence due east, 30 feet; thence due north, 50 feet; thence due west on the north line of said square, to the point of beginning, and also that piece of land marked and designated upon said map as a public reservation, located between 8th and 9th Streets and K Street and Virginia Avenue Southeast, known as the Anacostia engine house, together with the buildings and improvements thereon, are severally set apart and appropriated for the use of the public schools in the City of Washington, so long as they shall be occupied for that purpose, and no longer.

D.C. Code § 10-305

Mega Rec Center!!

The Mayor shall develop, construct, and implement mega recreation centers in strategic locations throughout the District of Columbia. Such centers shall be spacious enough to accommodate several indoor activities simultaneously and contain state of the art equipment and apparatus.

DCMR 1-101.1

The scary thing is that this makes perfect sense to me.

Mayor's Orders, previously issued as Commissioner's Orders until 1975, and before that as Commissioners' Orders until November 1967, and Orders of the Commissioners until May 1971, are incorporated in this chapter by reference.

D.C. Code § 42-705

Wow, glad I'm not an estate planner. Did people in 1901 speak a different kind of English than we do now?

In any deed or will of real or personal estate in the District of Columbia, executed after March 3, 1901, the words "die without issue," or the words "die without leaving issue," or the words "have no issue," or other words which may import either a want or failure of issue of any person in his lifetime or at the time of his death, or an indefinite failure of his issue, shall be construed to mean a want or failure of issue in the lifetime or at the time of the death of such person, and not an indefinite failure of his issue, unless a contrary intention shall appear in the instrument.

P.R. 18-96

In DC, for laws to be effective immediately (that is, prior to review by Congress), there must be an "emergency." This resolution declares an emergency requiring the issuance of warnings to drivers who do not clear ice and snow off their cars. The emergency is as follows:

(b) The District is currently experiencing a winter season with extremely low temperatures resulting in frozen precipitation accumulating on motor vehicles. If those vehicles are not properly cleared of frozen snow or ice prior to operation, the ice may be projected at people and property in public space while the vehicle is moving.
...
(d) There continues to be immediate potential for frozen precipitation to accumulate
upon vehicles in the District.

But, these "emergency" circumstances have occurred in winters past. Isn't this just a way of saying "we don't care that no one thought enough about this to take action before; we want to take action NOW [golly gee, warnings are very strong action] and that is the emergency"?

I do particularly enjoy the italicized phrases.

D.C. Code § 7-1703.03

Smokers are a protected class in DC. Who knew?

Prohibition of employment discrimination on the basis of tobacco use
(a) No person shall refuse to hire or employ any applicant for employment, or discharge or otherwise discriminate against any employee with respect to compensation or any other term, condition, or privilege of employment, on the basis of the use by the applicant or employee of tobacco or tobacco products. Nothing in this section shall be construed as limiting a person from establishing or enforcing workplace smoking restrictions that are required or permitted by this subchapter or other District or federal laws, or in establishing tobacco-use restrictions or prohibitions that constitute bona fide occupational qualifications.

DC Mun Regs tit. 22 s. 8599

What is "affectional preference"?

Harassment: Conduct directed at an employee solely on the basis of his/her affectional preference, age, color, creed...

DC Mun Regs tit. 4 s. 107

What's a "pledge of confidence"?

107.2 The investigator assigned to a case is authorized to administer oaths and require that the statement of a witness shall be under oath or affirmation, without a pledge of confidence.